Malcolm sj - Challenges in Family Life -Episode 3 Eng #ChallengesinFamil...

Malcolm sj - Cahllenges in Family Life -Episode 1 #counselling

What are you doing to improve the Quality of your Life - Part 1

A Recollection is a term commonly used in the Catholic Christian Tradition when Religious (Priest, Nuns, Brothers) took time for a day, a week end, a week or even a month, to be silent, pray and reflect on how their interior life was going on. Today in the Corporate world too, some attempt is being made to give employees the advantage of silence, meditation, reflection etc. Another common term interchangeable with Recollection, is Retreat. Which literally means exactly that, to go back in time and become aware of where one could make changes to improve the quality of his or her life.

A Recollection is to recollect memories, to recall memories, to remember. And as we remember, we literally  re–member, that is put together, as different from dis - member. A dis-membering is a breaking up, a scattering, while re-membering is a bringing together, from fragmented to unifying.  To experience a wholeness, a rebirth, a GESTALT!

As days and weeks and months pass, we get involved. We want to give the best of ourselves, we reach out, work hard. Soon we forget ourselves, get lost in the events of each day. We are no more in control. We get depleted, tired, worn out, lonely, irritable and a part of us begins to withdraw. Soon we get isolated. From family, friends, companions, people and quite likely from God. We soon begin to look at life around us in an aggressive way. Finding fault, criticizing, judging people and their performance.

Loneliness sets in. This is a critical juncture in ones life. The resultant behaviours might lead to unsavoury company, drinking, smoking, drugs, extra marital sex and a variety of behaviours that might take one spiraling down the drain.  It’s time to find an oasis, to soothe our thirst, to rest our head, to be alone, to recall, to remember, to recollect. Find a reliable friend a confidante or even a counselor with whom one can open up and share.

Continued in next post as Part 2

Malcolm Brother sj - Challenges in Family Life - #counseling - English

An Extract from Debbie Ford.

Debbie Ford is one of my favourite authors. Needles to say, she has impressed me and inspired me a great deal. Through her writings, I have learned to heal a lot of my ‘Shadow Self’. I’d like to share with you an inspiring page from one of her books.

Ford, Debbie (2009-10-13).

The Secret of the Shadow: The Power of Owning Your Story

Imagine that you knew at birth that you were a master, that you were powerful beyond measure, that you possessed enormous gifts, and that all it would take to deliver your gifts to the world was your desire. Imagine that you came into this world with your heart filled with the healing power of love and that your only desire was to bestow that love onto all those around you. Imagine that you had the innate ability to create and have all that you want and all that you need. Is it possible that at some point in your life you knew that there was no one else in the world like you? And that in every fiber of your being you knew that you not only possessed the light of the world, but that you were the light of the world? Is it possible that at one time you knew who you were at the deepest level and you rejoiced in your gifts? Take a moment now, and see if you can remember that time when you knew the truth

Then something happened. Your world changed. Something or someone cast a shadow on your light. From that moment on you feared that you and your precious gifts were no longer safe in the world. You felt that if you didn’t hide your sacred gift it might be abused, injured, or taken away from you. Deep inside, you knew that this gift was like a precious, innocent child that was yours to protect. So you did what any good parent would do: You hid all your magnificence deep inside so that no one would ever discover it, so that no one could hurt it or take it away from you.

Then, with the creativity of a child, you covered it up. You created an act, a persona, a drama, a story so that nobody would ever suspect that you were the keeper of so much light. You were very smart— brilliant, actually— at hiding your secret. Not only did you convince others that you were not that; you also convinced yourself— all because you were being a good parent to the gift that you held. It was your secret— your deep, dark secret, which only you knew. You were even creative enough to manifest the exact opposite of that which you truly are so that you could protect yourself from those who might be upset or angered by your innate gifts.
But after days months and years of hiding your treasure, you began to believe your story. You became the persona you created to protect your secret. At that moment you forgot that you had ever buried your treasured gift in the first place. You not only forgot where you had hidden it, you forgot that you had hidden it at all. Your light, love, greatness and beauty got lost inside your story. You forgot that you had a secret.
From that moment on, you felt lost, alone, separate and scared. Suddenly you became aware that there was something missing - and there was.

Perhaps its time now for your lamp to shine before the world once again. Find and take ownership of your Secret - that you are light, love, greatness, beauty and so much more and become free once again. 

Teach Only Love for that is what you are!

Teach your children only Love, for that is what you are. Your child will only be in large measure what you are and who you are! So you owe it to yourself and to your child/children to develop your own personal life: Heal your memories, forgive everyone in your life, including yourself. Cultivate a positive outlook. Nurture yourself in everyway.

Children are an expression of your love! Love them by giving them what they need, not what they want. Spend quality time with your children. Do not fill their lives with toys. Toys can never replace your love. Respect them as persons, do not treat them as so much furniture. Children are like wet cement; the impression you make on them when they are young, stays with them for life. Be honest to them and about them. Have atleast one meal a day as a family; "A family that eats together, stays together." Similarly I'd say, "A hug in time saves nine." Be affectionate without being possessive. Finally be supportive to the child, do not expect the child to fullfil your needs.

Let me quote Mother Teresa of happy memory, "I think today the world is upside down, and is suffering so much because there is so very little love in the home and in family life. We have no time for our children, we have no time for each other, there IS No Time to enjoy each other."

Teach your Children Only Love, for that is what YOU ARE. I hope you honestly believe that you are an embodiment of LOVE! All religions teach us that God is Love. If we emanated from God then we can be no less. A simpler idea to start with, and perhaps more acceptable, is that we are all born beautiful. Only somewhere down the road we seem to have forgotten that. Let us not blame our parents, even as our children may do the same to us. Louise Hay in her book, “You can heal your life” says, “we are all victims of victims”. The only way to break that cycle is to forgive everyone in your life including yourself and begin to love and appreciate yourself. Thus you will begin a whole new relationship with all those around you.

We are LOVE Incarnate. Love has no choice but to reach out. Simply because Love is not love, until it expresses itself in myriad ways. Just as the Infinite expresses itself through each one of us, let each one of us in turn create a world of peace, harmony, brotherhood and sisterhood by reaching out to each other.

Happiness

I wonder how many of us choose to be happy. Perhaps happiness is not even there on our menu of choices. What is worse (I believe) that most of us don't even believe that happiness is a result of choices we make. I guess that many of us may think happiness comes from getting the chocolate I want, regardless. The end result is, that if I don't get what I want, I get irritated, angry or downright mad at every one.
As a matter of fact, happiness is not a destination or something to be achieved. Happiness is the way. We must be happy in everything we do, no matter what. From drinking a cup of coffee to handling a major job. We give our best when we are happy and enjoying whatever it is we are doing.
Happiness is an attitude that needs to be cultivated very early in childhood. Happy parents bring up happy children.

Choose today to express happiness from your heart and enliven every thing you do.
Choose today to be happy rather than right!
Choose today to be happy rather than successful!
Make happiness your way of life!!!