Suffering

My Agony:

The Emotional Pain, Sadness, Suffering, Anger, Fear, Hurt, Guilt, Helplessness Confusion, Hatred, Revenge, etc., etc. that is in me and the world around me. 

My Emotional & Moral Sickness:

Depression, Loneliness, Rejection, Divorce, Alcoholism, Drugs, Substance Abuse, Suicide, Loss of Faith, Moral Degradation, broken families, child abuse, extra-Marital relationships, etc., etc.

My Physical Sickness:

Dementia, Alzheimer’s, Cancer, AIDS, Tumours, Heart Problems, Diabetes, Sicknesses of every Organ in the Body, Bone Structure and whatever else you can think of including the Skin and every Sickness and Disease caused by germs, etc.

My Desire:

That I be happy as well as make a small contribution to world peace by accepting, persons, situations and events with compassion and love, just as they are, and not as I would like them to be. Furthermore, that I would have the courage not to manipulate or change a situation or another person to suit my perceptions.

The Tragedy: 

The scene looks hopeless. Often, we just endure, break down, become sick. What is worse, we end up becoming oppressors. In all this, children not only suffer the most, but they, who were once victims, now in turn when they become adults, become the oppressors and replay the whole process all over again.

Our Justification:

Justified anger is the biggest block, the biggest weapon of the EGO.

The second block is my duty. It is my duty to correct them. If I don’t correct them then who will correct them. Often we do not understand that we are playing out our own childhood script. Our own childhood hurts and angers.

The third. The EGO once again. They must know who is Boss. Who is in charge.

I’m sure each one of us has our own reasons for being angry, hurt, hurtful, rejecting, rejected, selfish, hating, hateful, drinking, abusive, womanizing, criticizing, gossiping, beating our children, fighting in the family and all the rest.

Except where does our justification take us? Do we wish to be happy and healthy or miserable, sick and broken!

Conversion: Light will dawn only when I get tired of my own behavior, ask myself, “Was I born in this world, to live this miserable life? Is there no better way of living?” Why me? What have I done to deserve all this? Then why? Why God, why?

Unfortunately not many survive this tragic downward spiral of self-justification. It often leads to substance abuse (alcoholism, drugs), depression, hatred and even suicide.

Yet there are also those of us who see the Light! They begin to understand they are on a road to nowhere. There must be another way they reason out. They begin to introspect. They begin to  let the Light in. The Divine Light begins to dispel the Darkness within their soul. That is the moment when they stop BLAMING!!! Blaming God, their spouse, their children, their neighbor, their boss, their country or whoever.

It’s time for me to take responsibility now. To CARE-front my life. It is time for me to sit quietly and take a second look at my life. To talk to a friend. To get help. With humility I will have to ask myself: WHO AM I?

Transformation:

Transformation or Conversion is a process of moving from hatred to love. It is a call to forgiving Love. Forgiving Love first and foremost to myself. I must have the humility to accept that I have lived a loveless life, terrorizing myself as well as others.

The thoughts of Jesus may be inspiring: “Love thy neighbor as thyself” (Mat. 22:39) and yet again: “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”. (Mat. 5:44)

So at this moment think of someone, anyone because of whom you are suffering: Husband, Wife, Child, In-laws, relative, anyone. Consider this a moment of Grace. Am I willing to love this person or persons? Am I willing to change my anger, hatred, rejection into forgiving love, patience, understanding, acceptance or whatever.

True it’s not easy. What stops me? I hardly know. I am hardly aware as to what is going on within me. For all my consciousness is pointing to the other as my source of suffering! For healing to happen, I need to change my focus from the other to myself. I need to get in touch with myself. What is my attachment, what is my belief about what is happening.

I need to get back to my Source. The God who gave me life. I need to re-educate myself. To learn to love myself. To know that I am complete in myself and do not need anyone, anything, nor any power. I need to let go of my attachment. I need to surrender to the Divine.

I am free now to live a life of fulfillment and happiness.

How Happy Are You!

Happiness is not a Destination

Happiness is within me from the moment I am conceived! But I have NO awareness of it. Life is all about discovering that HAPPINESS.

I wonder how many of us would accept that! Happiness is not a destination. Then what is it? Is it not what all of us want? I have time and again asked people in personal talks, in counselling, in Seminars and even in railway train conversations, "what is it you want most in life?" And the the answer invariably would be the same, "HAPPINESS"

Material Wealth

So we are all busy in the business of finding happiness. We work hard to make enough money and hope to be happy. We buy gold and silver, jewelry and cosmetics, land and houses, cars and what not. But where is happiness?
In fact the "Pain" quotient just goes higher. We now have to protect our wealth, and create fear. Fear of being robbed, fear of being cheated, relationships that once were cordial now turn "sour" as we begin to distrust. We become competitive in work and business, dishonest create enemies. I'm sure you get the idea. But where is "HAPPINESS".

Power and Position 

If it is not Material wealth, then ofcourse it is Power and Position. As I grow wealthier (or poorer), I convince myself happiness is just round the corner, once I get that promotion. Once I am in charge, once I am the BOSS. But all it brings is headaches, and headaches and more headaches. Not to mention, ulcers, and backaches, and sleepless nights. But "HAPPINESS" where is "HAPPINESS"

As though that is not enough, I take to social drinking, then to smoking, friends convince me gambling and drugs will enhance my image and soon I find myself spiraling down a bottomless well. But NO Happiness.

Relationships (legitimate or otherwise)

Then ofcourse in our search for Happiness, we have always turned to relationships, companionships, friendships, Oh! Yes, marriage, family. Call it what you like, for we have always believed that someday, somehow, somewhere, I will find someone who will truly love me just the way I want to be loved, who will accept me just the way I am  and who will never find fault with me. Unfortunately that just never happens and so happiness remains an illusion.

What is worse, that in whom I hoped to find happiness, has now become a drag! A source of pain and suffering for me. He or she (as the case might be) now expects me to fulfill his or her needs. Or blatantly makes use of me and all I possess and Am.

Then there is the relationship where I have become in a sense addicted. I have become attached, dependent and consequently feel robbed of my freedom. I cannot live without the other. Result I am jealous, I am hurt, I am angered etc. So where is Happiness and where is Love! All a myth, all an illusion.

Happiness! Where is it! What is it!

Yes, as I mentioned at the beginning, it is within us, perhaps it is the Divine in each of us. But we are unaware of its existence. 

From the moment of our conception, but more so when we are born,  we are being distracted. We are literally being trained to think, to believe that my life, my happiness depends on others, on things, persons and experiences external to me. In short, Parents, relatives, friends and the world around us transcribe their broken "Scripts" upon the new born child and recreate a broken version of themselves - selfish, self centred, fearful, angry, UNHAPPY.

To be Happy, all one needs is  AWARENESS and DETACHMENT. 

To be aware one needs SILENCE. To achieve silence one needs to MEDITATE. In Meditation one will realise how imprisoned one is. Imprisoned or Attached to Material wealth; Imprisoned or Attached to the will (or EGO); Imprisoned or Attached to Persons.

To be Happy, to be Free, all I need to do is to DROP my ATTACHMENT. Put another way, I need to practice "Letting Go". I need to Practice Detachment. I must understand there is no peace, no happiness, no love in Attachment. There is only selfishness, pain and sickness. 

(I hope this elicits reflection and questions)